Itachi Itachi
by LovingNinja
Summary: A short one-shot, my first to be published. Itachi's thoughts on everything up to the night he was forced to kill his family. Not the greatest thing I've written but I thought I'd give it a shot. Please review.


_**Shattering Soul**_

"_Wow! You even nailed that target in the blind spot behind the rock! All right…my turn!"_

Sasuke. As always, you want to try everything that I have accomplished.

"_You promised to teach me new shuriken techniques!"_

I'm sorry, but I can't. You pout, always adorable, my foolish little brother. I'm sorry that I have been busy ever since I entered the academy. I wish I could spend more time with you, just like when you were an infant.

"_Check this out!"_

Are you desperate to prove something, Sasuke? Rushing, trying to catch up to me in the skills in the way of the shinobi? There you go, getting hurt. I told you not to, you should be more careful.

"_This is…where Father works?"_

Yes, Konoha Police Head Quarters. The crest. Our family. We are the ones who keep the peace, peace that we all strived so hard to gain eight years ago. Sasuke, I thank God that you were not born into such a time. You may not appreciate it as much as I and many others, but this peace is best, no matter who says it's not. Even Father. I will make sure to keep any obstacle away from this peace, so that way you can live happily, without fear, with a bright future.

"_Are you gonna join the police force, too?"_

Am I? No. Sasuke, if you had any idea…the things that Father wishes, his goals…

"_Then when I grow up…I'm gonna join the police force too!"_

Forgive me, Sasuke, but I fear that your dream may never come true.

"_You're late…What were you up to?"_

I was spending time with my precious brother, is that so wrong? A few minutes late won't kill you, you bastard.

"_Ha ha…That's my boy…It's been only six months since your promotion to chunin…you've already come so far."_

I know. You don't have to remind me. I'm one step closer to your dream. Your damned plans that want to destroy everything. What? Come along to the mission tomorrow? You can't, that's the day you have to see Sasuke enter into the academy!

"_If this mission is successful, Itachi…entrance into the ANBU Black Ops will be assured."_

I know that, you fool. I can manage on my own. You don't have to worry. Sasuke is more important. Tomorrow is his big day.

"_Father…Tomorrow is my…"_

"_Tomorrow's mission…will be important for the clan too!"_

Bastard. Pay attention to Sasuke. I know already, damn it! I'm your pawn in this damn coup de'ta, but leave Sasuke out of it. Show him that you're a father. Pretend to be one if you must just do it! Fine, if I have to force you, I will. I can't help it, I want to spoil Sasuke. I want him to be happy.

"…_All right, enough…I'll go to the academy."_

That's better. Now, it's better to go over the "mission" elsewhere. Sasuke, your leg is still hurt. Take care of it now. It's still to early for you to hear these words that Father and I will share. Soon, though, I promise you, I will end it.

"_That's my boy. Entering the ANBU Black Ops…I'm so proud."_

Like hell you are. You just want this to hurry, don't you? To get this coup into action, to take your revenge upon those who fear you? Ha ha, to see the look on your face when you realize how wrong you are. Call me a traitor, I don't mind. All I want is to make sure there are no more wars, as long as I'm alive.

"_What? You do know what day tomorrow is, don't you?!"_

I am aware, I'm not some imbecile. My orders…I've been given my orders from the village…I must begin to take steps…

"_Itachi…You're the pipeline between the clan and the village nerve center…"_

To take steps…to your demise. I must kill you. All of you. It's the only way…if you won't listen to reason…I'll try to…I'll try to use words to hopefully nullify the order, but if you won't agree to stop this wretched goal, then I…I must…kill all of you…my family…my clan…every last one…

"_Take that to heart. Attend tomorrow's meeting."_

Is he really not aware? Sasuke, you have to go. Hurry. If you hear anymore, you will be dragged into this as well.

"_Yes, Father."_

Sasuke…even you…I have to…Sasuke…

"_I…I don't think…"_

No, you do Sasuke. I know how you feel. You think that Father favors me, but the truth is he doesn't. I can't tell you why he watches everything that I do. I'll use this, Sasuke. I wish so desperately to tell you. Tell you my mission. Tell you to run away. The thought of killing something so precious to me…my most treasured person….yes, I am a doting brother, but I don't mind. Sasuke, I'll use this opportunity to tell you what it is that I'm forced to do…what fate has given me…my decision…Listen to these words, remember them. Perhaps if you find the hidden meaning, you will forgive me.

"_Itachi! You there?!"_

Damn, what do they want?

"_Only two people didn't show up to yesterday's meeting…"_

Are they honestly here to chastise me? Give me a "stern warning"?

"_Since joining the ANBU…you've pulled us through many situations…we understand that. Your father said so too…and he's trying to defend you, but…"_

Yes, I know you want me to attend. To make sure that everything I do is what I'm supposed to. To give me new "orders" and for me to give you "information".

"_It's about Shisui…he also missed the meeting…"_

Shisui? He…why? What would possess him to…suicide?

"…_we are the police, Itachi…we've decided to put our full effort into the investigation."_

Investigation? What would be the use of an investigation?

"_This is Shisui's final note. A handwriting analysis was conducted. There's no doubt he wrote it."_

If he wrote it, then it was suicide. Why an investigation?

"_He was one of the most talented of the clan, and the best ever at teleportation. He was always the first to take on any mission for the sake of the clan."_

I'm fully aware of that. As you said, we were close friends. You think he was murdered? Is it that unbelievable that he would commit such an act? It's obvious what has happened. He couldn't bare the thought of turning his back on the clan, and yet he didn't wish for what almost all of you wanted. He must have been suffering…as am I…now. Shisui….

"…_we'll leave the note with you for the time being. Take it to the ANBU Black Ops and request their cooperation in the investigation."_

What fools you all are. The ANBU will only laugh. They don't care what happens to this clan anymore. I am to destroy it. What was that? "Destroy the note"? You…you think…you glorified bastards think that I did this to Shisui?

"_In fact, we do…you child."_

What right do you have to want to blame this on me?! You have no idea about anything, do you?! Such arrogance from all of you, it's insufferable! I will share with you what I think of your precious clan! Everything that you hold so dear, everything that makes you the prime target for Konohagakure! The reasons you are to be eliminated!

"…_Shisui had been watching you recently…it's been six months since you entered ANBU…what you've said and done since then is too strange to overlook. What on earth are you thinking…?"_

Let me tell you. Your idiocy is leading to your doom. You think that because I've been "acting strangely" that gives you reason to think that I would kill someone so dear to me?

"_That's enough…What's wrong with you?"_

Nothing is wrong with me, Father. I'm perfectly fine. The only thing that's been bothering me lately is the fact that I have to kill you all. The reason I was not able to attend the meeting? Riddle me this, are you aware of a man who wants revenge on our clan? He was once head of our family many a year ago, but we "betrayed" him. I went to him, that's why I was missing, not because I "killed" Shisui. I'll give you all a warning, a warning of your tragic end that will soon come. Heed it, if not, you _will _die.

"_What insolence…!"_

That is my opinion of you. Go ahead, try to stop me. Try to arrest me if you wish. It won't help you any.

"_Stop it! Brother!"_

Sasuke?! He was watching the whole time? Damn, if I do anymore it'll upset him…I'm sorry, Sasuke.

"_Big Brother…"_

Sasuke, you have no idea how much it pains me…every time you call me that, it aches. I'm not worthy to be called your big brother, nevertheless, I will do what I must, to protect you. I need to…I need to…think…There has to be a way. A way where I can complete my mission without having to end your short life…

"_You always say 'Sorry, Sasuke' and jab me in the forehead…and you never have time. It's always the same story."_

If only it was, little brother. I'm sorry, but this is last time we'll meet…as brothers…

"_Father! Mother!"_

Sasuke, I am so, terribly sorry.

"_Father! Mother!"_

I must…try…It's so hard, to look you in the eyes. I'm sorry that I have to hurt you, but this is the only way…the only way to let you live. Please, trust me…

"_Gyaaaahh…!"_

I'm sorry, Sasuke! To cause you pain…it's the only way to protect you! Otherwise, I would never…!

"…_Why…did you…?"_

Hate me. That is the only way we can part. To feed you these lies, it's the only way, my little brother.

"_What's…wrong with you?!"_

Sasuke, shedding tears? I'm sorry. One day, I promise to make this all up to. Even if…I…

"_It's not true. My brother wouldn't do this."_

A smart boy. You've always been bright. But, you are still young, still naïve. Listen, and believe these tales that I have spun, this story that I created just for you. Believe them. I'll tell you some truth, but most are false. I'll tell you that I killed Shisui.

"…_That was…you…"_

No. I will even tell you it's for my own selfish desires. I'll give you a mission. Take revenge upon me, Sasuke. I'm sorry, but it is the only way for me to atone for giving you so much pain. I've spent to much time here. I have to go. What? Sharingan? Sasuke, you are special. But, I can't, I just can't stay here, if I do…I might…

"_Wait!"_

Weapons? No, you don't intend to kill me, not yet. You only wish to stop me. You want answers. More than I have given you. I'm sorry Sasuke. I can't say that enough, I never would be able to. Please, just lie down and rest. Dream this away. Shedding my own tears, I'm a disgrace as a shinobi and a disgrace as an older brother. I can only protect you. From the truth, and the village. I'll make you a hero. I'll make them love you. Start our clan over and create a better one. One that isn't clouded by all this arrogance and hatred that ours was made of.

* * *

**It's a one-shot, and it's not very good, but I was re-watching the episodes of Sasuke's past, and now that we all know that Itachi was actually good, I saw all of the torment that he was going through, I tried to put down everything that I thought he was thinking, so...hopefully it turned out well...I'm thinking of writing another one, based on Itachi's thoughts during his fight with Sasuke. Tell me if you want it? K? Thank you all for reading! *bows* Please Review.**

**~LovingNinja~**


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